The day is here…deployment day. I’ve spent many days & nights trying to mentally prepare for this moment. There have been moments of sadness & fear to moments of strength & bravery. The two things I fear the most are 1. the danger and unknown of Afghanistan and 2. how badly I will miss Pat! In all of these moments, I’ve been really battling one thing…LETTING GO! I have this huge constant battle in my life, and that’s letting go of having control over everything. (good thing I have solid people around me to call me out!)
In the last few days, the Lord has really done a number on reminding me to JUST HAVE FAITH. Why is that so hard sometimes?! I am so grateful for the convictions & reminders that He is in control. He is the creator, protector, healer, comforter, giver & friend (among many other things). All week small things have happened that have really challenged me to evaluate, “have I let go?”, “am I trying to control this?”, “do I have faith that everything will be ok?”. Although, some of these moments have been very emotional, it’s really challenged me not just to say I’ve given up control, but to really truly do it!
I know the next nine months will be a challenge for Patrick & I, but I am so blessed to have him, and excited what these months will teach us. There will be many moments I know I will struggle with this control issue, but if you could pray with me for myself, but most of all Patrick & the other men! For their strength, safety, focus & encouragement in the moments they spend away from everything they know.
This song played on my run Monday and I just had to laugh…another way God told me to let go::
Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”
Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
2 Timothy 1:7 “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”