{countdown begins}

9 Mar

The day is here…deployment day. I’ve spent many days & nights trying to mentally prepare for this moment. There have been moments of sadness & fear to moments of strength & bravery. The two things I fear the most are 1. the danger and unknown of Afghanistan and 2. how badly I will miss Pat! In all of these moments, I’ve been really battling one thing…LETTING GO! I have this huge constant battle in my life, and that’s letting go of having control over everything. (good thing I have solid people around me to call me out!)

In the last few days, the Lord has really done a number on reminding me to JUST HAVE FAITH. Why is that so hard sometimes?! I am so grateful for the convictions & reminders that He is in control. He is the creator, protector, healer, comforter, giver & friend (among many other things). All week small things have happened that have really challenged me to evaluate, “have I let go?”, “am I trying to control this?”, “do I have faith that everything will be ok?”. Although, some of these moments have been very emotional, it’s really challenged me not just to say I’ve given up control, but to really truly do it!

I know the next nine months will be a challenge for Patrick & I, but I am so blessed to have him, and excited what these months will teach us. There will be many moments I know I will struggle with this control issue, but if you could pray with me for myself, but most of all Patrick & the other men! For their strength, safety, focus & encouragement in the moments they spend away from everything they know.

This song played on my run Monday and I just had to laugh…another way God told me to let go::

Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”

Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.

2 Timothy 1:7 “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”

A funny thing Patrick’s sister Rachel reminded me of: Deployment is 9 months, so is pregnancy…bring on the 1st trimester!
PS: check out our wedding website {here}

4 Responses to “{countdown begins}”

  1. ppfgirl March 9, 2012 at 11:45 am #

    On my knees for you, sister! My husband will be praying for Pat & I’ll be praying for you ~ can’t imagine what you are facing, but so glad that you are strong in your faith…He will carry you through!! I’m here anytime you need to chat or just to hear an encouraging word 🙂

  2. Stacey March 9, 2012 at 4:05 pm #

    Sending prayers your way and for all of our military men & women! God Bless them and keep them safe. Thank you to your fiance for his service!

  3. fancythis March 20, 2012 at 12:52 pm #

    been through a deployment and going to endure another this year…..simply put, they are hard. but God does sustain. praying you lean on the One who heals all wounds and that your time apart flies!

  4. Lucija March 21, 2012 at 5:21 pm #

    Gorgeous photos!! & such a gorgeous blog, too!! 😉


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